A few Estonian jokes

(Thanks to my brother Pete!)

After having dug to a depth of 100 meters last year, Scottish scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 1000 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the Scots, in the weeks that followed, English scientists dug to a depth of 200 meters, and shortly after, headlines in the newspapers read, “English archaeologists have found traces of 2000 year old fibre-optic cable and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech digital communications network a thousand years earlier than the Scots.”

One week later, Estonian newspapers reported the following: “After digging as deep as 5000 meters in Narva, Estonian scientists have found absolutely nothing. They, therefore, have concluded that 5,000 years ago, Estonia’s inhabitants were already using wireless technology.”

***

An Estonian stands by a railway track.
Another Estonian passes by on a handcar, pushing the pump up and down.
The first one asks: “Is it a long way to Tallinn?”
“Not too long.”
He gets on the car and joins pushing the pump up and down.
After two hours of silent pumping the first Estonian asks again: “Is it a long way still to Tallinn?”
“Now, it is very long way to Tallinn.”

***

A special offer from Estonian mobile phone providers: the first two hours of a call are free.

***

I told some Estonian fellows that they’re slow.
“What did they reply?”
“Nothing, but they beat me up the following day. ”

***

At -10 degrees Celsius, heating is switched on in British homes, while Estonians change into a long sleeved shirt.
At -20 Austrians fly to Malaga, while Estonians celebrate Midsummer Jaanipaev.
At -200 hell freezes over and Estonia wins the Eurovision Song Contest.
At -273 absolute zero temperature is reached, all atom movement ceases.
The Estonians shrug and say “Perse. It’s a bit chilly today isn’t it?”

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